These animals would ordinarily be euthanised if still unclaimed after 72 hours, but the Japanese government have lifted this law temporarily. It is not clear how long this will be the case for, so please make a contribution to save lives if  you can.

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Sorry I have been distant.

Life will return to normal soon; it’s unavoidable.

Until then-

There is something to be said for lowering your expectations towards an upcoming release. Unless of course, that upcoming release is something Cheryl Cole has meddled with, in which case it doesn’t matter how low your expectations are as you will always be disappointed.

I have been hugely scathing about the new Britney album Femme Fatale up until this point, but all that is about to change. Having actually heard it, there are at least three good songs on it, two that I can sit through but wouldn’t put on out of choice, and the rest are the expected standard of mediocre. So now I can downgrade my attitude towards the project to ‘mildly scathing’.Get the ticker tape parade ready.

The artwork still sucks, and the fact that seven of the twelve tracks are on a par with being force-fed processed cheese slices doesn’t make it an always pleasant experience. I can’t work out what’s going on with Britney’s vocals on this album – I know it’s not exactly been autotune free up until now, but they’re so overproduced and mechanical  at times on Femme Fatale that it’s uncomfortable to listen to.

But the positives. The three highlights are: Inside Out, ‘Til The World Ends and I Wanna Go. ‘Til The World Ends works so well as an album opener; it’s all about the last verse when the track explodes in your ears. It’s a shame this got rush-released after it leaked because it’ll be ignored by everyone bar a certain demographic online, but at least there’s a legal alternative to the illegal downloads.

Inside Out (above) is one of the better stabs at Britney doing dubstep. Of course it’s dubstep in the way that Fall Out Boy are rock, but that’s to be expected. It’s about break-up sex, and seems to feature a keytar at the end. THIS SHOULD BE THE NEXT SINGLE.

I Wanna Go is a bit more like the Britney days of old – I could imagine this track fitting in quite well on Blackout. I could definitely live without the whistling which has an air of DFS advert about it. And if that isn’t enough for you, it was produced by Max Martin who has ushered us through some of Britney’s finer moments as I am sure you are well aware.

I can play the drum part of this, or a recorder version of Silent Night. One is significantly better than the other.

day 27 – a song that you wish you could play

I can only dream of being this cool.

day 28 – a song that makes you feel guilty

I AM HILARIOUS.

day 29 – a song from your childhood

Apparently, when I was a baby there were just two artists who could send me off to sleep. Pet Shop Boys and OMD. I didn’t know about the OMD thing until years later when I was at White Heat one night and I heard this riff and I knew that I knew it but no one who I was with did. Anyway, after weeks of trying to find out what it was called, I phoned my mum and sang it to her, and she told me the above story. I was effectively brainwashed by my own mother. There are worse songs to be brainwashed by though I suppose.

day 30 – your favorite song at this time last year

I can’t remember this time last year, but I know this time three years ago I was loving this.

It’s like a hug in your ears.

day 22 – a song that you listen to when you’re sad

This song has the power to absolutely destroy me.

day 23 – a song that you want to play at your wedding

The most beautiful love song in the whole world.

day 24 – a song that you want to play at your funeral

It sounds sad, but this song has been the last song of the night to so many good ones; it seems apt to go out to it.

day 25 – a song that makes you laugh

THAT DAY, THAT DAY, BLOODY HELL IT’S NOT FINISHED.